And so I ran

I did it. Yesterday I ran. I intended on just walking, but walking didn't satisfy me. So I started running. A slow jog at first, but I gained some momentum and was soon in a full run. I thought for sure my body would give out in a short distance. But I felt my body filled with an inner strength I didn't know I possessed. And so I ran. Heart racing. Feat pounding. Throat burning from the chilly air. Riding alongside was my sweet boy on his bike. I'm not sure how long I ran without stopping - but it was the half circle of my street. (I know my wonderful neighbor has that distance measured, so maybe she could tell me.)

It was glorious. I felt so triumphant. And once again I felt God's presence. I needed Him so much. The only reason I stopped was because I felt Him speaking to me. I heard it so clear it was almost like an audible voice. So I walked a bit and prayed. I looked ahead and behind me and realized that my son had gone home. Was tired I guess, or stayed to play with his friend down the street. I started to run the distance home. This time my throat burned more, I struggled to keep my breathing at a steady pace. One of the keys to running is keeping your breathing steady, through your nose, and I was failing miserably now. I kept gulping air through my mouth as if it were in limited supply. My mouth was getting dry. But I wasn't going to give up yet. I'm sure I looked pathetic. I could imagine my legs looked like they were flailing. My run no longer those long pounding strides, but more like a sad attempt to lift them one inch off the ground.

Off in the distance I could see something coming towards me. At this point it was getting dark and even my eyesight was failing me. Was it a dog coming to chase me off his street? I had gotten off easy and had only been chased by a chihuahua so far. Was it a car about to confuse me for a speedbump? There are people down this street that know only one speed....super fast.

Ah....but no....the Lord is so good. It was my sweet boy riding back to me with a bottled water in his hand. I think I saw a halo over his head.

"For I will pour out water to quench your thirst....and I will pour out my spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children." Isaiah 44:3

How do you keep your marriage happy?

Ok, I realize that is a loaded question before I even posted it. But I can't help it. I have been consumed with this question lately. It has been driving me insane. I haven't thought of this as in a "me" sense, as in what would keep me happy, but in how can I keep my husband happy? I realize there's only so much I can do - at some point the decision is ours, or theirs - but what is my role in this?

I must admit that my husband and I took very little marriage counseling before we were married. And the counseling we did have was with a Catholic priest who, after I voiced my concern with my husband's occasion drinking, told me that I needed to let that go and that a little bit of anything didn't hurt. This he tells to a girl who grew up in with an alcoholic father. I should also mention that I never had an example of what a good marriage is. It's not something that I witnessed in anyone in my family, or family friends. My husband did, with his own parents. It is by the Grace of God that we are still married today, and very very happily at that. That's how I want to keep it. I know marriage has it's ups and downs....but I really want to keep those downs to a minimum. I've heard so many different views. There's the woman who lost all faith in men that told me that all men are the same and to expect nothing different from my husband. There's the one that has been married a long time with no major bumps that told me that communication is always key. Then there's one that I love.....never stop dating your spouse. Never stop romancing them, and always assume that you are competing for them. That thinking that way keeps you on your toes. I like that one. It reminds me that if I want this to work I have to be willing to work. That means put some time and effort. That a good, long marriage doesn't just happen. Hmmm.....so many things to think about. So many things I'm still learning after 12 years of marriage. Learning all these things makes me feel like a young newly wed that just entered marriage knowing absolutely nothing about it. A little scary that I have been so naive for so many years. Again I say, by the grace of God I'm still married today.

So what do you think is key to a good marriage? What things do you do to keep your marriage healthy and happy?

I'm trying to remember...

Remember how it felt to run. For no reason. To run just for the joy of running. I used to run 2 miles a day, all through high school, then for years up until we moved here. I thought it was 2, until today that I mentioned to a friend that I knew where my 2 mile mark was because I used to run to my neighbor's house when we lived in Washington (TX, not DC) and she lived almost exactly 2 miles away. Then friend said "Then how would you get back?", to which I replied, "Well, run back of course!". To which she mentioned "Then you ran 4 miles, not 2". DUH! So cool, I used to run 4 miles. And I do remember loving it. I'd wear my oldest pair of worn running shoes, put my hair up, and off I went. Sometimes alone, sometimes the kids would tag along on bikes. My best runs were out in Old Washington. There was some straight road and then a slight hill, which I dreaded when I would start, but loved the challenge every time, then would love the boost going down hill. I loved waving at the neighbors, then running at the speed of light when their dogs were loose. It was on one of these runs that my then 3 year old son insisted I take off his training wheels on from his bike because he couldn't go fast enough to keep up with me. I told him ,"Once they come off I'm not putting them back on"....and they've never gone back on.

Mainly, I miss my time with God when I would run. I wouldn't carry anything to listen to music. I remember running with my face looking towards the sky and talking with God. I knew the road well - I didn't have to worry where my feet fell. Sometimes I would walk and talk....sometimes I would stop and listen. Sometimes there was no talking...just the feeling of companionship.

I remember the days He uplifted me with a gentle breeze. I remember the days pleading for that breeze but felt none. I remember the lessons He taught through watching a cloud, a stream, an animal (dead or alive), or the traffic.

I also remember the satisfaction running brought me. That feeling like I had just done something magnificent for my body. I had just given it a gift. Sometimes I would push myself a little farther just to surprise myself at how amazing this body God had given me was. There were also the days it was all I could do to keep from asking my neighbor for a ride home.

I want to start running again. As I was contemplating how I would make my body endure the few weeks of torture that it takes to get accustomed to running again I started to wonder "Why?". I need to know why I used to love running so much - to give me inspiration to do it again. Is this something I can realistically do again? Do I have the time? Can my knees still take it ?(they crackle every time I bend) Can running down my street give me the same satisfaction as I had when I ran down those country roads? Should I not hold those expectations?

Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. Even if I don't make it as a runner again, I'm sure walking would be good for me, too. Any runners out there that can offer some inspiration ......I feel I'll be needing it...desperately.

What a way to start the year

Pitiful, just pitiful. I've been sick, we've all been sick, all but Ashley, since Friday of last week, with what I've been told is different forms of the flu. Saturday was the worst day for us all, and thank goodness my dear Ashley was well because she played nurse for all of us...without being told to do so. She took our requests for food, drinks, medicine, blankets, pillows.....and silence. Oh, yes, even talking hurt. Sunday hubby was sick of being sick, so off he went to church in a deceptive spur of energy, only to crash a few hours later. Monday I was up and at the grocery store with that same deception, only to later crawl back into bed and call my mommy for help. She came bearing gifts of food and cleaning energy. Bless that wonderful woman. Tuesday was spent under blankets and the blinds closed. This morning I thought was the first morning of me feeling better so I eagerly took down the tree and all Christmas decorations. A few hours of that and down I went again. My dear son hasn't been bouncing off the wall in 5 days. My baby girl hasn't asked to ride her new bike...not even cared to look out a window. Hubby came home after half a day of work with his feet dragging and headed straight to bed. We were all sleeping on such a beautiful afternoon.

Please, someone please tell me....how much longer will this take?? Any way to speed up this healing? We're all sick of being sick! We wanted to do so many fun things while the kids were out of school. And they will be back to school in....um....what day is this? I'm going back to bed.....

Christmas only lasted the day

Christmas morning was wonderful, sleep deprived and all. Alex and I went to bed at 6....in the morning. Not really so much by choice. We didn't get in from visiting family until 3am......again, not by choice.....can you say family drama? Anyway, once we got in we still had hidden presents to get out and wrap and put together. Of course hubby gets the assembly duty and I get the wrapping duty. As we wrapped and hammered we chatted, and finally our bodies said enough. Ashley gets up at 8am saying "It's Christmas! Come on mom, get up!", to which I say, "Honey, please do me a favor and just lay in your bed for a little while longer." I was thinking more like until early afternoon longer, but I knew that was asking too much. She falls back asleep and at 9 we finally all get up. Oh, the kids were so happy. My son says , "Mom, am I dreaming?". The kids are sharing their DS games, playing so happily. They play with my baby girl's kitchen, playing tea party with her. It was a sight for a tired mom's eyes. But...that only lasted the day. As we mom's know, we try to soak up those moments for we know that soon enough they will be gone. The next day it was "That's my game!", "Don't touch my tractor!", "Bubba, you make my baby cry!".

Ahhh, yes......Christmas only lasted the day......but what a joyous day it was!

What a wonderland it was

So we decided to fork out the money this year for Santa's Wonderland. We hadn't in years...maybe 3 or 4 years. But my sister is down visiting, they mentioned wanting to see them, the weather was great on Monday, so we said let's go for it. I remember years ago being dissapointed with the lights we saw for the price we paid - but not this time. Maybe it was the great company, the oohs and ahhs from the kids, whatever it was, it was worth every bit of $20.

Or $40....there was too many of us to pile in one truck. So we had to stay in 2 cars...so $40 later. Kinda steep you say? You bet. But if you go, if weather permits, let the kids ride in the back of a truck. That puts them at a whole other level of enjoying the lights.

Have fun if you get to go!

It's so hard to say goodbye

Yesterday was the real goodbye for my baby girl and her best friend. These girls are about 3 weeks difference in age, and have been in the same classes at church literally since birth. There was just something about these two that made them bond. Could be they could speak each other's baby language long before either mom could. Could be they both shared a common silliness that only they two understood. She didn't even want to go into her class on Sunday. Thank goodness Ms. Julia was there. You see, For my baby girl, church and school = her best pal and Ms. Julia...the two just go together...you don't have one without the other. And I think my baby girl did understand when I told her that her best friend was not coming back to school on Sunday. On Monday she fell and immediately started crying for her best pal, something she's never done before. Just crying inconsolably....it was heartbreaking. Since infants her mom and I would say that they seemed like sisters. These two little pals are truly "Sisters at Heart".

Did you ever have a best friend move away?

More to praise about.....but NOT about me!

I found out about...uummmm.....3 hours ago....that this same sister that I blogged about last week is PREGNANT! She said she and her husband found out in the emergency room the night of their accident. They were absolutely stunned. Their baby girl is only 7 months old, and their older daughter is 4. This is a very welcome surprise! She feels great, and is probably only about 4-5 weeks pregnant. Lots more to give praise about this Christmas!

Praise be to God

Over the weekend I recieved a call from my mom telling me that my sister and her family had been involved in an accident. They were on the way from Seattle Washington to Lubbock for a funeral. In Cheyenne, Wyoming there were really bad road conditions, ice, snow...and while traveling up a low hill their SUV started to slide back down. It then slid down an embankment, flipping several times. When it stopped my sister said she heard crying outside, then looked back and saw all their windows broken out, and didn't see her 4 yr old in the vehicle. She jumped out and saw her laying in the snow several feet up the embankment. She ran to her and lifted her up, while her husband yelled "No! Don't move her!". She wanted to...needed to...get her out of the snow..and didn't think about checking for neck injuries. Her daughter was crying and said, "Mama, this isn't fun anymore." She said she then laid her in the suv and she and her husband started checking her for injuries. They are both active Army military, and that sweet girl coudn't of had anyone there better to take care of her. They would of known exactly what to do. Thank the Lord, she seemed to be ok. Her husband then went to climb up the hill to try to find help...they couldn't get any cell phone reception. Several cars passed him by before an 18-wheeler truck driver stopped. Thank goodness he stopped when he did because my sister said they were all getting really cold. He told them that he almost didn't because he had been robbed by gunpoint before for stopping for someone. But the Lord had the perfect person stop because he had access to his radio to call for help, plus a warm bed and TV in the back for my sister and her 4 yr old and her 6 month old. He even had the movie Cars that he put on for my niece to watch so she could calm down.

By the grace of God everyone is perfectly ok. They were completely checked out at a local hospital, several x-rays, MRI and cat scans later. The hospital even paid for a hotel for them to stay at for several days and provided them the transportation there. They thought about flying back home from there, but decided that they were close enough to Texas to go ahead and come this way, plus they really want to spend time with family after this, as we want to spend time with them. I told her I wouldn't of let her leave Wyoming without seeing her and her family. They are so precious to me and am praising God for the miracle of saving their lives.

They have rented a vehicle to come to Texas, and will fly home from here. We offered to fly them here, or go there to pick them up, but they wanted to be able to see his family in Lubbuck and then come here to spend time with our family. The reason we are not there in Wyoming with her now is because she didn't call anyone until Sunday, all of this happened Saturday! She said she didn't want to call until she knew everyone was ok, or if anyone had to stay in the hospital. Please pray for them as they continue to travel this way today, and that they have a safe flight home. All praise and Glory be to God!

My baby is almost 3!

I know all moms say this....but I have to say it anyway...I can't believe how fast my baby is growing! I feel like my time with her is so much less than my older two. Since her birth she has been been hauled around to every sport event and school function that older sister and brother have going on. She's had to be picked up from the comfort of her bed during nap to go pick up kids from school. I'm sure she's had more naps in her car seat than at home. So much that one day she said, "I sleepy. I want my carseat." Which comes to prove...she knows no other way. This is her life. And as she slowly awoke from her nap this afternoon (in her car seat) after taking big sis to piano practice, she smiles a big smile and says "Bubba! Sissy! I miss you! You bring me candy?"....I realize that she enjoys her life the way it is.

Something I should learn to do myself!